I need help removing her.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
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My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
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Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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