Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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