Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
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I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
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i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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