I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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