the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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