I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize