just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize