At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize