margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
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Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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