I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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