hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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