And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
false alarm, still single
Randomize