hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
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His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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