so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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