He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
How external is "for external use only"?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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