if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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