I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize