I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
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I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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