I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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