Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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