need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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