Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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