Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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