just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize