u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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