Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize