i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize