I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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