how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize