white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
should my penis look like a turkey
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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