I have demons in me.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
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The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
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I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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