Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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