You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize