so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize