I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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