I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
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i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
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So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
my poor anus
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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