First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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