I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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