Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
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let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
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In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Sorry about my life...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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