these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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