my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize