he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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