this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize