He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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