Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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