happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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