All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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