Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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