HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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