He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
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wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
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You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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