Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize